Chapter 3 Volume 4


For many years, people have thought of Asia as a peaceful and friendly place. This is true for every place except for one. The Port-of-Pirates off the coast of China. The people who inhabit this thriving community, for the most part, are not pirates, but rich millionaires. However, a select few people have broken away and have tried to put piracy back on the map. The two main pirates are Black-Mustache and Belt Buckle Bill
Turner. They speak here:
The "Plan" of Shoe Lace Bill Turner

"Ello mate, 'tis me. Black-Mustache" said Black-Mustache
"Ello mate, 'tis me. Belt Buckle Bill" said Belt Buckle Bill
"Well, where are we going to piratificate this evening?" asked Black-Mustache
"I was thinking maybe Germany, but I have a better plan." eviled Belt Buckle Bill
"Do tell" deep-voiced Black-Mustache
"We need to piratificate a place that has never known piracy!" eviled Belt Buckle Bill
"How about Paraguay?" idioted Black-Mustache
"Yea great idea. Except Paraguay is COMPLETELY SURROUNDED BY LAND!" sarcasticed Belt Buckle Bill
"Oh" defeated Black-Mustache
"I had something even better in mind" evil-voiced Belt Buckle Bill
"OOO! Do tell" stupid-idioted Black-Mustache
"We are going to piratificate Greenland!" eviled Belt Buckle Bill

At this point, Belt Buckle Bill Turner shows his battle plan to Black-Mustache. They agree on a few necessary stops and here is the end result:

"Okay, sounds good to me! Now all we need is a ship and a crew" said Black-Mustache
"Aye, 'tis true, 'tis true" state-nothinged Belt Buckle Bill
Yea. Thats Right. Stare!
"For a ship I thought we could use either the Interceptor or the Black Pearl" contributed Black-Mustache
"Ummm. No. We are going to use my boat. The Venez Faire Du (translates to the Come and Get Some)" perverted Belt Buckle Bill
"Ok. Who will be the third in command?" asked Black-Mustache
"Well... there is no easy way to say this. Actually there is, you are going to not be!" meaned Belt Buckle Bill
"Oh... well who will be second then?" asked Black-Mustache
"Well. You wont like to hear this. But it has to be Squeer Antinims" regretted Belt Buckle Bill
"Why. He's like a squirrel thingy though!" obvoiused Black-Mustache
"Yes, but he is also one of the greatest pirates who ever lived!" awesomed Belt Buckle Bill

Now, it is important to know the history of Squeer Antinims aka Squeer Alberto. Read Volumes 2 and 3 for a complete history. He is one of the greatest pirates who was ever immaculately concieved. Here is an image of the dashing young fellow:

(Enter Squeer Alberto in full military garb)
"Hello folks. What the f* do you want me here for?" badassed Squeer Alberto
"Well. first of all welcome. Secondly, we were wondering if you would join us on an expedition" informed Belt Buckle Bill
"Are we going to any whore houses?" badassed Squeer Alberto
"Plenty and then some" suck-uped Black-Mustache
"Im in" badassed again Squeer Alberto
"Alright! Awesome! I don't know what we would have done without you!" sucke-uped again Black-Mustache

We, at MUUU, have the most advanced Radio-Satellite-Seattle-67-Ying Trackers that are available on the Black-Fish Market. And we used them to track the every move of these villanous pirates. Here is the audio we recorded. The satellite images will be provided further along in the historical article:

John, get your hand off my ass!" said Some-Satellite-Worker-Who-Interfered-With-The-Audio 1
"But, I thought---" said Some-Satellite-Worker-Who-Interfered-With-The-Audio 2
"No! That was only because you promised me your premium fish fillet!" said Some-Satellite-Worker-Who-Interfered-With-The-Audio 1
"Oh, okay then. But never again?" inquired Some-Satellite-Worker-Who-Interfered-With-The-Audio 2
"Do you have a fishburger?" asked Some-Satellite-Worker-Who-Interfered-With-The-Audio 1
"Yes!" said Some-Satellite-Worker-Who-Interfered-With-The-Audio 2
"Then its a done deal" said Some-Satellite-Worker-Who-Interfered-With-The-Audio 1
"Yes! Now lets get back to work" diligenced Some-Satellite-Worker-Who-Interfered-With-The-Audio 2
....... radio static........
"AWWWWW YEA!!!!! RIDE 'EM COWBOY!" said Squeer Alberto
"WOOOOO!" said Black-Mustache
"Guys we really should be leaving this bar at 12435 W. Southbend Rd, 54235, Greenfield, Alaska" gave-too-much-informationed Belt Buckle Bill

So there you have it, these criminales have been hitting stops and women that were not on the planned map. So we know for sure that we have absolutely no idea where they are. Here is the satellite image:
We May Have Been Punked...